Monday, October 20, 2014

"Private Violence" Premieres Tonight!!!! Set your DVRs!

If you follow my Twitter or personal Facebook page, I've harassed you all month about the Ah-mazing documentary, "Private Violence."  October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, so it makes sense that today, October 20, 2014, at 9:00pm, "Private Violence" premieres on HBO.  I know not everyone has HBO.  Go to a friend's house.  Borrow someone's HBOgo account.  DO SOMETHING to watch this documentary.  Spoiler Alert:  There are NO fictional boyfriends/crushes in this one.  Sorry guys.  Blog title misleading here.

I had the privilege of watching an early screening of this on October 3rd and it was SO powerful.  As many of you know, I previously worked as a domestic violence advocate.  Watching this documentary made me regret my decision to leave that job.  Because I left that job, there is one less passionate advocate out there for victims of domestic violence.  Well, that's not necessarily true because my "replacement" is pretty kick-ass herself, but the documentary moved me so much that it made me feel guilty for my career change.  And it's not like I'm doing something unadmirable.  Instead of being a voice for domestic violence victims, I am a voice for children.  I am still speaking up for someone who cannot speak up for themselves.

That is what I am begging you to do today by asking you to watch this documentary.  Watch it and feel some empowerment deep down inside of yourself to speak out for someone who may be a victim.  I urge you to pay attention to the messages given in the documentary and to read all information out there on domestic violence.  What you think may be the correct way to help someone out of a situation may actually be the fastest way to get that person killed.

Stop centering your questions around the victim.  Never ask, "Why doesn't she just leave."  Leaving isn't that simple.  And when you ask questions like that, you are placing the blame on the victim.  "Why doesn't he stop being abusive?" is more appropriate.  The blame lies with the abuser.  "Why doesn't the court do something?" "Why won't the prosecutor take the case to court?" The blame also lies with the justice system.  Watch this documentary and get so fired up that you can't help but become another voice to help someone.  Become an injustice fighter.  Show the world that not all men are abusers and not all women are helpless victims.  Show the world that victims can become advocates for themselves and others.

This film follows the stories of an advocate and a couple of victims who have to live this horror everyday.  It shows what the system does to help them.  It shows how the advocates have to fight a million battles just for one case.  It shows why so many victims just give up.

I know I said I would make a separate blog for my DV and bullying rantings but because this premiers tonight, I could not help myself.  Even though I have already seen this, I am going to watch it again.  And probably again after that.  It is that empowering and infuriating.  There was one portion of the film where the advocate had a note written on one of her college assignments where the professor stated that he did not believe that "professionals" or the "upper class" were ever involved in domestic violence.  I guess it's reserved for the "lower class" according to him.  Weeks later, this part of the film still boils in my blood.  I can tell you first hand that domestic violence can be present whether you are the poorest person in the county or whether you are a doctor or a lawyer.  Anyone can be a victim and anyone can be an abuser.  The issue is, what are we going to do about it?

And for a fun little comedic relief after I just laid all this heavy stuff on you, while at the early viewing, the local YWCA was present holding a little contest to win a Macy's card.  To enter, all you had to do was have your picture taken dressed a little goofy and holding a sign that depicted what real love looks like.  Here's my picture (told you it was goofy):


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