NaNoWriMo . . . Nearing the End

So, NaNoWriMo is over in 8 days.  I wish I could tell you that I have been doing so awesome at this venture and that I am crushing these 50,000 words.  Honestly, I'm not.  I was on an excellent stride in the beginning and then I hit a wall.  For weeks, I couldn't write a single word.  I could not figure out how to get from Point A to Point B in my story and I couldn't make my characters do what I wanted them to do.  So I did what I do best, I procrastinated and pretended the problem didn't exist.  I played endless hours of Harry Potter Movies on QuizUp (I'm in 1st place in Kentucky this month and 8th in the U.S. currently).  I daydreamed.  I texted my friends.  I went to basketball games.  I reconnected with people I have not spoken to in many years.  I danced in my living room to Taylor Swift's 1989.  I spent time with my neighbors.  I never went back to my laptop to write.

Yesterday, I had a really terrible day.  From the moment I walked out my door, it seemed like the Universe was against me.  My coffee slid off the top of my icy car and splattered all over my favorite shoes and my only clean pair of work pants.  Clients had crises.  Friends lied to me.  I forgot my lunch.  I was disrespected.  I was so angry at everything and everyone, I paid someone back for sending me clown/mask pictures at Halloween (hey, I warned you guys I would get revenge if anyone did that to me).  Was it mature?  No.  Am I sorry?  No.  I needed to release some of my anger and disappointment, so I finally said yes to a guy who has been asking me out for 6 months.  I had very low expectations because I'm not really into dating right now.  But in a shocking turn of events, I learned what it felt like to be treated like I was the most important person in someone's eyes.  Instead of trying to make someone like me, I didn't have to do anything.  He already thought I was amazing and treated me with respect.  I didn't have to force anything.  It was a pleasant ending to a horrible day filled with ugly crying and smashing things.

What does that story have to do with my NaNo project?  I've been trying to force my characters to do something they aren't meant to do.  I was trying to force them to be someone that they just simply aren't.  Instead of trying to be a perfectionist and have the story turn out the way I had dreamed, I think if I just let the characters tell ME where the story is going, I can end up very close to these 50,000 words by the 30th.  I even took off extra days next week for the holiday just to work on my novel.

Today, I'm holed up in my office at work where the building is silent.  I am blasting my #amwriting playlist as loud as I want.

I've got proper rations.

I even have Huggie Bear and Tom Brady watching over me.

I'm going to go back, kill off the character that must die, and then let the rest of the words flow.  Killing this character is going to break my heart all over again, but once this character is dead, I have a very strong suspicion that my words are going to flow like magic. (Yes, that is a Mischief Managed Harry Potter shirt, and yes, that is Hedwig in the background.  If you want to procrastinate, my QuizUp name is MichiefManaged, of course.)